It’s a Sunday afternoon in the middle of a sweltering July. All that rain from earlier in the week means your lawn is now in serious need of a trim.
You know it’ll take a few hours of grueling work to whip things into shape and you’ll need to stay properly hydrated. Water doesn’t sound good.
You want a beer.
In the U.S. these conditions can be found in just about any neighborhood. With our unhealthy obsession for both beer and maintaining an unreasonably manicured lawn, the crossover isn’t that tough to imagine.
In fact, the marriage of brews and backyard beautification is so prolific that beer culture geeks have coined the term “lawnmower beer”. The nickname describes the perfect brews to slam while mowing the grass.
While there isn’t a defining brand, you can probably guess the broadstrokes that define the category. They’re usually a low ABV, mass-produced, light-bodied American style beer.
Before you even finished reading that sentence you were probably already thinking of a few. Traditional lawnmower beers are crisp, refreshing, and probably cheap.
Remember though that one of the important factors in a lawnmower beer is that low ABV percentage.
You can’t be getting hammered on your fourth 9.4% IPA before doing the side yard. You’re gonna need something you can drink a few of and still safely use the weed trimmer.
So, when it comes to non-alcoholic beer, wouldn’t they all technically be “lawnmower beers”?
Not really.
You want to slam a few Porters while you’re a sweaty mess just because they’re under 0.5% ABV? Of course not, man! You still want that same low-hopped, malty, light-bodied tasting profile, but with even less alcohol than you used to drink.
Luckily, there’s a bunch of really fantastic non-alcoholic lawnmower beers that you can slam all day and still see straight enough to make a straight edge along the driveway.
Genesee – N.A.
As one of the oldest breweries in the United States, Genesee Brewery in Rochester, New York has also been producing a non-alc beer longer than most. In the early 90’s they released their N.A. lager and they haven’t changed a thing to it since because they don’t need to. It’s simple, crisp and clean. It’s also less than $10.00 for a 12-pack.
Old Milwaukee – N.A.
Another historic brewery that is about as American as Detroit automobiles! Old Milwaukee’s non-alcoholic lager is a tad on the sweeter and malty end. For real beer nerds it flies under the radar as a cheap option to pass by on the way to a more stand-out can, but you won’t feel bad about slamming one of these and forgetting to sip and savor because you got a 12-pack for less than you paid to eat at Taco Bell last night.
Sam Adams’ – Gold Rush
The Gold Rush from Sam Adams has all the staples of American life built right into it. The can art claims it’s “Crisp, Clean and Refreshing” and it’s probably one of the few marketing phrases that is actually accurate. It might not be quite as cheap as the others in this category, but you sure aren’t gonna break the bank by putting a bunch of these back.
Athletic Brewing Company – Lite
This one will take some convincing but hear me out. While Athletic doesn’t have the same history, it is an American brand and while they are technically a craft brewery, they’re one of the largest in the nation and still growing. In the non-alcoholic beer category, they’re kind of the “big guys”. Their Lite has only 45 calories and it’s about as clean and refreshing as you can get.
I’ll concede that the price point might get them tossed off this list by a more discerning archivist, but $9 for a 6-pack still ain’t exactly fancy. If you’re feeling like you want a lawnmower beer but a little fancier than the big brands, the Lite is a sold choice.
At the end of the day, not only can a non-alcoholic lawnmower beer exist, there happens to be a bunch of great examples. Of course, you should be drinking anything that replenishes those electrolytes and recharges that desire to keep up with your annoying neighbor who spends twenty hours a week turning their yard into the 18th green at Augusta.
If anything is more American than beer and lawns, it’s the freedom to choose your own nonalcoholic lawnmower beer!
